Venting

I hate not knowing when my legs will stop working. I hate hurting all of the time. I hate not being able to work anymore. I hate not being able to fix my own car. I hate not driving due to nerve spasms. I hate not being able to walk where I want. I hate having to depend on others. I hate when family doesn’t understand what I’m going through but don’t want them to feel it. I hate being dependent on others. I hate having to use a wheelchair. I hate not being able to walk in the mountains. I hate the thought of going back to a hospital. I hate feeling helpless. I hate people having to accommodate me. I hate feeling bound to the house. I hate a trip to town or the Y being a big deal. I hate a lot of things about the new me.

Most of all, I hate this big pity party I’m giving.

Sorry about all of this but I needed to vent.