Kids Say the Darndest Things
Scott Mclean
How many of you remember the Art Linkletter show Kids say the darndest things? Well they do and it’s often our fault.
My Dad had a relative that my Mom was not fond of and by all accounts was difficult to get along with. At a family function she came up to us and I heard Dad say her name. I instantly connected the name to things I had heard. The end result was 4 year old me looking at her and asking “Are you the old bitch?”
My parents were embarrassed and I got swatted but later heard Dad laughing about it.
Another time we smelled a skunk while driving. I evidently giggled and said “I did it!”
Uncle Gale gave Steve half of his material. Mom was washing dishes and Steve wanted to go somewhere. He was 4 or 5 and said “Come on woman. Shit or get off the pot!” Yep, he got whacked.
I was asked to take my sister’s youngest son to the grocery store. In the checkstand racks was a magazine with a picture of a toucan, long bill and all. My nephew was about 5 and yelled loud enough for the whole store to hear, “Uncle Scott, look at the pecker on that one!” I felt like hiding under the counter.
One of the first full sentences my eldest said was after being asked if he liked something. He said “Hope to shit in your messkit!” Since my Dad was the only one I’d ever heard use that phrase I knew it was chalk that one up to Grandpa.
Gunner and I were driving near downtown one day when a car ran a red light and almost hit us. I honked and gave the guy the finger, not thinking about the two year old in the truck with me. A few days later I pulled up next to a friend and honked to get his attention. I looked at my son and he was folding the unused fingers with his other hand to flip my friend off. I got ribbed for a while about that one.
My younger son came home from kindergarten and was running around hollering a Spanish cuss word. I told him to stop and not use that word but he kept asking what it meant. I finally told him it meant he would get his butt busted if he used it again. That ended the discussion.
So just remember that our little ones will instantly latch on to the wrong word or actions from you.
Ignore this if you think you look good in a lovely shade of red.
Bye.