Grandpa's Morning Routine
Scott Mclean
Another tale of an earlier visit to Grandpa’s.
Steve and I were probably 14 and 11. Our folks put us on a Greyhound at the depot that used to be on Yakima avenue. Steve wanted to sit in the back but I told him I’d been warned not to due to the bathroom being back there. Good advice because even at mid bus the smell got a little ripe!
The bus picked up more passengers at Ellensburg and we had a layover of 2 hours to switch buses in Seattle. I had picked up a copy of Hot Rod magazine and one of Mad magazine at the depot to pass the time. Steve passed the time by antagonizing me!
My Uncle Bill and Aunt Barb picked us up in Seattle and took us down to the Pacific Science Center. We got lunch and of course used the bubbilator to go between the two floors. Not a very exciting ride.
They took us back to the depot and we boarded our bus to Sequim. The Greyhound drop-off point was behind the drug store and Grandpa was waiting to pick us up.
Luckily, Grandpa did a lot of the cooking while we were there because he was much better at it than Dorothea.
We helped Grandpa cut fence posts in a cedar swamp and went fishing at Sequim Bay. The perch fishing from the docks was good but all we caught while salmon fishing from the boat was dogfish. Those are a small mud shark.
We later chartered out of Port Angeles with a friend of Grandpa’s named Borhaven. I had the only bite of the day and it was not successful.
Grandpa had a couple of old bikes and we would ride them the couple of miles to a little store at what was called Carlsburg corner. There is a Walmart and Costco there now.
We stayed in a room upstairs that just had a thin wall and ceiling between it and the bathroom downstairs. My Uncles had told us that Grandpa would break wind in the bathroom every morning. His routine went like this. He would walk into the bathroom, lift the toilet seat, and pee. The toilet was then flushed followed by a thunderous fart! Steve and I were duly impressed.
After two mornings of this we knew what to expect. When we heard the toilet flush, Steve started a countdown. Three, two, one, and brrrrippp. We then lost it and started laughing. Grandpa did an indignant hmmph downstairs.
At the time they advertised what were described as personal massage devices in the backs of magazines. Grandpa got tension headaches in the vicinity of his ears and ordered one. Grandpa was not very worldly and had no idea of the devices intended use. Imagine our surprise to see Grandpa at the kitchen table sticking a dildo in his ear! Steve later made up a song about it.
About a year later Grandpa found out what it was and chewed us out for not telling him. Evidently a neighbor clued him in to his great embarrassment.
We had fun that week and got picked up by Mom and Dad the following weekend. I treasured my time with Grandpa and loved the fact that he was so naive and innocent in some ways. More later.